Everything Changes—Including This
Change is the only constant. This isn't a motivational poster; it's a fundamental truth that ancient philosophers built entire systems around.
The Buddha made impermanence (anicca) one of his core teachings. The Stoics trained themselves to accept the natural flux of events. They weren't resigned pessimists—they were realists who found freedom in accepting how things actually work.
Why Change Feels So Hard
Our brains are wired to predict and expect consistency. When reality shifts, it feels wrong—even when the change is positive.
We also tend to build our identities around stable things: our jobs, relationships, health, routines. When these change, it can feel like we're losing ourselves.
The philosophers understood this. Their response wasn't "stop caring about things" but "hold things lightly while engaging fully."
The Buddhist Teaching on Impermanence
Everything you see around you is in the process of changing. The cup on your desk is slowly degrading. Your body is replacing cells. Your thoughts are arising and passing away.
This isn't depressing—it's liberating. The Buddha taught that suffering comes from clinging to things that can't be held permanently. When you really understand impermanence, you:
- Appreciate what you have more deeply (it won't last forever)
- Suffer less when things end (you knew they would)
- Stop fighting reality (change isn't a malfunction—it's how life works)
Practice: Right now, look around you. Choose any object. Reflect on how it will look in one year, ten years, a hundred years. Nothing lasts. This is just true.
The Stoic Approach to Change
The Stoics distinguished between what's up to us (our responses) and what isn't (external events, including change). Their whole philosophy can be summarized as: accept what happens, focus on your response.
Marcus Aurelius wrote:
"Loss is nothing else but change, and change is Nature's delight."
He wasn't pretending to like losing things. He was reminding himself that change is built into how nature works. Fighting it is fighting reality itself.
Stoic practices for navigating change:
- Premeditatio malorum — Regularly imagine changes before they happen. Not anxiously, but as preparation. When change comes, you've already practiced accepting it.
- The view from above — Zoom out. From a cosmic perspective, all human changes are small ripples in a vast ocean. This isn't to minimize your experience—it's to contextualize it.
- Focus on the next step — Big changes are overwhelming. But what's the next small action you need to take? Just that one. Then the next.
Different Kinds of Change Need Different Approaches
Unwanted change (loss, endings, setbacks):
- Allow yourself to grieve. Don't rush past the feelings.
- Look for what remains stable. Not everything changed.
- Ask: What opportunity might exist within this?
Wanted change (new job, new relationship, new life):
- Acknowledge that even positive change involves loss of the old.
- Give yourself time to adjust. Transition takes longer than we expect.
- Remember: discomfort during change doesn't mean you made the wrong choice.
Uncertain change (you don't know what's coming):
- Return to what you can control: your preparation, your response, your daily choices.
- Avoid catastrophizing. The future you're imagining may not happen.
- Build general resilience so you can handle whatever comes.
The Deeper Teaching: You Are Change
Here's the part that's uncomfortable to sit with: you aren't separate from change. You are change.
There's no stable "you" watching change happen from the outside. You are the river, not the bank. Your thoughts, feelings, memories, beliefs—all of it is constantly shifting.
This is actually good news. It means you're not stuck. The person you were yesterday doesn't determine who you are today. You can grow, heal, transform.
Change isn't happening to you. Change is you.
Practical Steps for Current Transitions
If you're going through change right now:
- Name what you're feeling — "I'm scared." "I'm grieving." "I'm excited and terrified." Naming creates distance from overwhelming emotion.
- Find one small anchor — What daily routine can you maintain? What relationship is stable? Not everything needs to change at once.
- Take care of basics — Sleep, food, movement. Change is exhausting. Your body needs support.
- Limit future-tripping — Stay in today. Tomorrow has enough uncertainty of its own.
- Ask for help — Humans navigate change better together. Let others support you.
The Gift Hidden in Change
Every philosopher who wrote about change noted something paradoxical: within impermanence lies a strange freedom.
If everything changes, then painful situations will change too. Your current struggle won't last forever. The depression will lift. The grief will soften. The crisis will pass.
Change is both the wound and the healing.
The Stoics and Buddhists didn't just accept change—they found peace within it. Not by pretending it was easy, but by aligning themselves with the nature of reality.
You're changing right now. What kind of change will you make?